Keesha's House by Helen Frost

Author:Helen Frost
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781466896321
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux (BYR)

SOMETIMES I WONDER CARMEN

Sometimes it seems like it don’t matter

if you lie or tell the truth.

People pick out what they want to believe—

all you can do is hope they pick

the things that count. Tomorrow, I finally got my court

date. So much dependin’ on which judge

I get and what he’s feelin’ like when I come in. One judge

knows Grandmama, and that ain’t s’posed to matter,

but I can tell you, I’ll be glad if he has court

tomorrow. Grandmama’s been comin’ to see me. She says, Truth

is easy. You don’t got so much to remember. She picked

out a nice dress for me to wear: Believe

me, Carmen, it’s important how you look. I do believe

that, but there’s a lot about my looks that I can’t change. Judge

me by my character, like Dr. King said. Well, I can’t pick

my judge, and I can’t change the facts, or for that matter

what they think is facts. Truth

is, I’m part guilty, part innocent, and the court

decides how to put that together. Last time I had court

I said I wasn’t drinkin’—only with some kids that was. They believed

me, and I just got probation. Now this time, truth

is I did have one beer. I can hear that judge

already, all stern, sayin’, Young lady, this matter

before us is serious. I know I gotta start pickin’

better friends. Anytime someone say, We’ll pick

you up for a party, I just go along. It shouldn’t take the court

to make me use more sense. What’s the matter

with me, anyhow, that I don’t make my own mind up? I believe

most of the things the judge

says, but sometimes I wonder, what is the whole truth?

I know I’m the only one that can tell myself the truth

and make me listen. If I go home, will I just pick

up where I left off, or can I change? That’s for the judge

to decide, I guess. I’m hopin’ I can go home after court

tomorrow and stay out of trouble. Grandmama believes

me, that I want to try. She says, Girl, no matter

what you do, I keep on believin’ in you. She should be a judge

herself, the way she picks through lies and truth

and court talk, and comes up with that one thing that matters.

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